And I shall wait (not in vain)!

A friend of mine has asked me recently about an unwelcoming subject (for me). I answered with a deep sigh. Again, a deep long sigh and my head began spinning..I told her there's nothing to tell since there is nothing to talk about. She kept bugging me. Insisting that i should tell her or shall i say demanding that i tell her.. She asked why?

WHY? I dunno. She kept insisting that i am too secretive and that i tend to shy away whenever topics such as this is ever brought up! Yeahhhhh.. Blahhhhh.. Pause.. Blaaaahhhh... Pause was all i heard next.. If there was just a remote control within my reach, i'd gladly fast forward that conversation with her. It's not that she's is irritating but questions like this makes me think.. It makes me think and ask myself "WHY"?

Such a thought provoking question, Why all these Why(s) in my life? Honestly, i dunno. It's not that there is something wrong with me (or perhaps, there is?) or i do not go out that much.. It's just that there is N-O-N-E........N-A-D-A..... Z-E-R-O.! Sure, there were some boys, but all they did was just stare, smile, flirt, the usual routine of the exchanging of numbers, surprise text messages and calls but that was it. That was all there is! The longest i can remember was texting & calling me almost 24/7 for more than 4 months and asked me out a hundred times (But i refused!) and then it went poooooffffff! I havent heard from him ever again..

What bugs me most is that my sister has been teasing me about this for the longest time. She knows how frustrated i get when she teases me like crazy. I go nuts and just turn hysterical with all the drama! Talk about mental and emotional torture...

The funny thing is, there was this one time when i was appproached by a nun right outside the church and offered me a booklet about becoming one. She asked me outright, if i would like to become a nun. Of all the people right outside the church, why did she approach me and handed me the booklet? Why me? Was it suppose to be a sign sent from up above? Was "HE" trying to tell me something? Was it sort of a divine intervention? Should i be ignoring the what could have been the sign of the time?

I was taken aback by that incident. It may be a little bit funny in a weird way but it made me think. Would i want to reconsider? Shall i?

Perhaps when the time is right, when my reasons are dignified and my heart is still!

For now, Ill just take my time and just take my chance..

I will live like there's no tomorrow!

I will live the best I can....

I will live for the promise of hope, of waiting, of miracles and of falling into deep....

I will live......