The 30th gave me the answer that I needed. It was something that I needed to have and what astounded me most was that, I was fine. I was amazed on how I carried myself throughout the whole conversation that we had. We spoke of our life-long plans, career paths and experiences, relived our younger days, spoke of our friends and had some good laughs together.
I finally understand now. I know that no matter whom we choose to be with, we will always have something far stronger than anything in this world and that is, real friendship. I realized now that we will always have each others' back… you have me and I have you.
That night, when we said our goodbyes, I was making the hardest yet the most liberating resolution. I was saying goodbye to you and finally, I am letting “me” go of you. I am setting myself free from you in hopes of saving myself.
As I was about to leave, we shook hands as way of saying our goodbyes but when you took my hand and held it so tight, I began to feel frail. You held my hand so tightly and left a red mark on it. You took hold of it as if you were not letting go. I was afraid. I took my hand away before I had no strength to do so. I had to. When I was about to enter the house, you stood there waiting, with your eyes watching me carefully. Without looking at you, I disappeared in the dark and you, you were gone… Life would be easier for the both of us. Happier.
I would not want to think of the “what ifs” and the “could have beens” that night. That is the thing of the past now. I am convinced that I am doing the right thing.
This is the end.... The final chapter that should have been sealed along time ago…. My new beginning…The chance to start anew… My chance of a happy ending....
Wherever it may lead me, I have that string of hope to discover that one true thing that can make me smile over again, the smile that you once brought into my life....
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