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Philippines
it's good to be here. it's good to feel the burst and zest of living! it feels like i am in total bliss!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

ALMOST

The Singapore trip was more than enough for me. It was something i needed to do so I can finally say, that i've moved on and everything else is in the Past.

As I was saying goodbye to the Past, I had to make the hardest decision of putting an end into something that could have been beautiful. I had to do it now before my strength leaves me completely... I had to finally say it's time to put an end to something that could have made me happy... happier!
You've asked me time and again, "Why?" but the only reason I could give you is that - it's all for the best and that it's a long story. I know how cruel these statements were but its really harder to explain this all to you, right now. At this time, I'm still lost and how I wish I had the courage to acknowledge what was happening to me and to "us" when things where much simplier.

That one phone call I had to make was one of the hardest things I had to do. All the signs I have been waiting for fell before my very eyes and I could have fooled myself that it was merely chances that i stumbled upon these signs. When I called you up, it was something i dreaded the most. I heard my voice tremble and my hands were shaking involuntarily. It was pretty big for me and that it's harder to have "this" when all things are uncertain. My not so fortunate experiences proved to me to that im a certified RISK AVERSE and not to mention, COWARD. I am sorry that it has come this point. I know I haven't given you ENOUGH reasons for my action. And for that, I am sorry. No matter how many times I apologize, I know that all you ever needed to hear was the TRUTH. But what is the Truth? and are you ever ready to hear the Truth from me?

Let me stay this way for awhile. Let me sulk in my misery and when I'm ready, I will tell you the TRUTH. I am so sorry that this had to happen to you - to us.

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